Humboldt Fog

Don't bog­a­rt the Fog, my friend. On the evo­lu­tion­ary lad­der of cream cheese, this kind North­ern Cal­i­forn­ian nug is the most high­ly evolved, a hair­less biped with ESP among mass-mar­ket sub­species with brow ridges and sag­gi­tal crests. Pay spe­cial atten­tion to the stripe of green that accen­tu­ates the creamy white body like pip­ing on a tracksuit.

4 replies on “Humboldt Fog”

hum­boldt fog is not "cream cheese". it could be called "dream cheese", but it is most cer­tain­ly not a creamy or cream-relat­ed cheese. lka

When I say "cream" cheese, I do so only to describe its con­sis­ten­cy. Yeah, it doesn't come in a lit­tle plas­tic boat with a tin foil seal to lock in the fla­vor, but you can (and should) spread it with a knife, like cream cheese. Plus, it is unlike most fan­cy and tasty cheeses, such as those cheeses in the ched­dar and gou­da fam­i­lies, not to men­tion every oth­er cheese men­tioned in CHEESE, except Que­so, which isn't real­ly a cheese, but a cheese-based dish, BECAUSE it is creamy and spread­able. Thanks for clear­ing this up, though, Leslie.

Right. I know you are attempt­ing, in your own fee­ble way, to describe the con­sis­ten­cy of Hum­boldt Fog cheese. I know you are not talk­ing about the pop­u­lar Kraft Foods prod­uct known as "Philadel­phia cream cheese". Thanks for "clar­i­fy­ing" your think­ing, fog­gy as it is. Keep up the good work. Any­hoo — Hum­boldt Fog is not a cream cheese. Brie is cream (or "dou­ble creme") cheese. Fluff is a cream cheese. A cream cheese, like oleo, has a near­ly liq­uid, pud­ding-like con­sis­ten­cy at room tem­per­a­ture. Hum­boldt Fog does not. I know this because I keep a piece of Hum­boldt Fog on my bed­side table in my tem­per­a­ture con­trolled bed­room. I breathe its fumes while I sleep, and dream of rolling hills car­pet­ed with tall sweet grass and new daf­fodils. LESLIE

some­times, Hum­boldt Fog is not even creamy. You leave it in the cheese draw­er for a day or so, and all of a sud­den it's dry and crumbly and you can't spread it on a crack­er for love or mon­ey. you have to just kind of smoosh the Fog crumbs togeth­er and hope it doesn't go any­where but in your mouth when you bite into the cracker.

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