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Dream come true / My Simpsons character

Simpson LeMoine

Thanks to a tip from fel­low Simp­sons fanat­ic and Coop­er col­league Chris Noes­sel, I dis­cov­ered that I could gen­er­ate a Simp­sons char­ac­ter with my like­ness on the Simp­sons Movie site. Holy crap. Tru­ly, a dream come true. Now the only thing left is to have my like­ness drawn in the Wall Street Jour­nal "hed­cut" style [a PDF on the Dow Jones site about how pic­tures become WSJ-ready].And it's me, right? Except there were no options for beards, which is strange con­sid­er­ing that there are quite a few beard­ed Simp­sons char­ac­ters. Homer's got a per­pet­u­al five o'clock shad­ow; God has a flow­ing white beard; Hyman Krustof­s­ki has the impres­sive ZZ Top-style beard befit­ting a car­toon rab­bi; Dr. Mar­vin Mon­roe has a beard that is more like mine. So there's got to be lots of exist­ing styles to choose from.When I did a Google search for "simp­sons beard," I dis­cov­ered that Simp­sons cre­ator Matt Groen­ing is a self-described bear­do, as revealed in this email chat from 1993: "I've been mis­tak­en more than once for Stephen King, Leonard Maltin has been mis­tak­en for me, but I think I look more like a beard­ed hip­pie ver­son of Homer Simp­son." (This chat took place on Prodi­gy, of course. Wow. Sim­pler times.)