French Port Salut

Rainbow's genius lit­tle descrip­tion of the FPS — "This cheese is men­tioned in every cheese book from the 70's" — doesn't men­tion ONE rel­a­tive­ly impor­tant qual­i­ty of it — the fact that it has almost no taste, and the taste that it does have IS GROSS. Its "mild­ness" reminds me a lit­tle of, say, fresh moz­erel­la, but it has this weird, red-wine‑y bite that does not make you say mmm. Plus, it has a paste-like tex­ture that lends itself nei­ther to spread­ing, nor to slic­ing; so, if you buy any FPS, remem­ber to get some tongue depres­sors to apply it to your crack­er. Of course, you could also put on your Fos­ter Grants and your chunky turtle­neck sweater and go back in time — back to the time when books were writ­ten about cheese. It's up to you.

2 replies on “French Port Salut”

I have had an FPS and apple sand­wich that was actu­al­ly quite tasty, but I've nev­er been able to repli­cate that expe­ri­ence. Also, books are still writ­ten about cheese—Leslie gave me a very nice one for my birth­day last year that is all about the great cheese being made in the good ol' USA these days, Hum­boldt Fog being one of the few things left that I still feel good about shout­ing U‑S-A! U‑S-A! for at the top of my lungs.

Maybe we should be read­ing some of these books … I might check out this one, the so-called Cheese Primer. Rhetor­i­cal ques­tion: How pop­u­lar would we be if we knew every­thing about cheese and insist­ed on dis­play­ing this knowl­edge at every din­ner par­ty? Sar­casm: Peo­ple would love us. Wry twist: So, are we all going to buy the Cheese Primer, or what?

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